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Who Said That?

In the haunted house industry, there are some favorite quotes that come up now and again, particularly in reference to the fine art of scaring the wits out of people. It takes a special kind of person to work in a haunted house, and the folks who work in your friendly neighborhood haunted houses in Dallas are no exception. They tend to have a wry sense of humor, a touch of kinky fetishism and a penchant for the occasional walk on the dark side; hence these quotes are quite apropos.

See if you can recognize the authors of these famous witticisms:

1. Where there is no imagination, there is no horror. Indeed, your imagination is more powerful than any visual images or special effects, which leads us to the next one:

2. There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it. Suspense, anticipation, and dread are often much worse than the deed itself. Also, seeing things can be frightening, but sometimes it’s what you don’t see that is even more terrifying, because:

3. The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown. One of the many unknowns that we all carry within us is our dark side, and one of our greatest fears is that someone might catch a glimpse of it.

4. Everyone is a moon and has a dark side, which he never shows to anybody. Except, perhaps when he goes to work in a haunted house…

5. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. These are the nights when strange things happen at Thrillvania Haunted House Park.

6. Blondes make the best victims. They’re like white snow that shows up the bloody footprints. There’s a price to be paid for having more fun…

7. I’ve seen enough horror movies to know that any weirdo wearing a mask is never friendly. Especially when they’re brandishing a chain saw!

Think you know who said that? Check out the answer section to see your score!

1) Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, 2) Alfred Hitchcock, 3) H. P. Lovecraft, 4) Mark Twain, 5) George Carlin, 6) Alfred Hitchcock, 7) Nancy McLoughlin as Lizabeth in Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI.

Haunted House Park Veteran Recalls Humble Beginnings

mike malec5

When it comes to getting in on the ground floor, Thrillvania Haunted House Park Co-Creator and Park Manager Mike Malec came through the basement. He was a part of Thrillvania Haunted House Park back before the haunt even came into existence. A long, long time ago, in a dark and dusty backstage hallway, Mike bumped into a man by the name of Lance Pope while working at Six Flags theme park.

“He was a college student at UTA, and he told me about this haunted house that he was building. So I went to his place, and it was this amazing haunted house,” Mike recalls. “It was only 3000 square feet, but every inch was amazingly detailed.” Mike’s first impression of the new Haunted Verdun Manor would leave a lasting impression.

“I was just used to spray painted murals on the walls, and here was this awesome special effects haunted house. I think that’s when I got infected with the haunted house bug.”

Having started out his haunt career working at a March of Dimes attraction in 1980, Mike’s first tour of duty was as a “carpet ape” pretending to break out of a flimsy iron-barred cage. “The costume was horrible. It looked like a shag carpet with a mask. Still, I thought that was the neatest thing in the world.”

Mike has been a core member of the Thrillvania Haunted House Park team ever since that fateful meeting. What’s his favorite part of the job? “It’s when customers leave the attraction and they stop me and say, ‘wow, it’s amazing. I’ve never seen anything like that.'” He adds, “It’s not just the special effects; it’s about how the actors sell the product. Your actors are your bread and butter. They make everything good. If you have horrible actors, you’re going to have a horrible attraction.”

Over the last 27 years, Mike has seen a lot of strange goings on at the celebrated thrill park. One of Mike’s most bizarre recollections centers around a tornado that struck the park one night after they had closed up early due to inclement weather.

“One rainy night we all decided to go to the Waffle House after shutting down, to get some breakfast, before going back to close up for the night. We knew it was a bad storm, but none of us had a thought about tornadoes. After we returned to the facility we found this 100-foot crane from a bungee jump ride that was all twisted up, and the Lab of Terror, which was a tent attraction, was pretty much blown away. The tent was just gone!”

For weeks afterwards, customers who lived as far as five miles away returned stuffed animals to the park that the had found in their front yards. One of the skill games at the park had also been destroyed, causing a hailstorm of 4-foot werewolves. Talk about raining cats and dogs!

Away from Thrillvania, “Uncle Mikey” works as a mild-mannered production manager at a post-operative medical device plant. “I love the entertainment industry, but I also love making medical devices to improve peoples’ lives,” he says, adding that he finds a comfortable symmetry between the two seemingly unrelated jobs.

Like many others, Mike admits to being hopelessly afflicted with haunted house fever. “It’s an infectious disease. It’s kind of like West Nile, once you get bit by that, you’re stuck.”

Fear and Loathing in Dallas, Texas

Thrillvania Haunted House Park Co-Creator and Park Manager Jeff Gilbreath, working at the beloved thrill park is more than just a job, it’s an addiction. “We’re ready for this next season to get started,” he says. “I’m having withdrawals. I’ve got to get my fix.”

Jeff has been living with his obsession for over two decades now. Starting out as an actor at the renowned haunt in 1991, Jeff immediately became infected with “haunted house fever,” and knew immediately that he would never want to work anywhere else.

After moving up the ladder to become first a costume supervisor, then technical manager and finally operations manager, Jeff was one of the core family of seasoned professionals who stepped up to the plate in order to keep the show running after the untimely death of the attraction’s much revered founder, Lance Pope.

“It’s hard to fill Lance’s shoes. We try. He sure was a master.”

It may take a village to raise a child, but it takes an extended dysfunctional family to run a haunt as large and extensive as Thrillvania Haunted House Park , with five different attractions on nearly 50 acres of desolate Texas scrub land. Jeff, along with Park Manager Mike Malec and a handful of others closed ranks after Lance’s death and pitched in to help his parents keep the attraction alive, with welcome advice and assistance from Cutting Edge Haunted House owner Todd James, an old friend and college alumni of Lance’s.

It was difficult at first, but some 11 years later Thrillvania continues to grow and thrive, a monument to a dream and a lot of hard work. Jeff compares it to a “family reunion every year that lasts for six weeks.” Although he works on the property during the off season to make repairs and improvements, from December through around May Jeff also does fencing, remodeling and construction work on a nearby ranch. It’s busy work, he says, while he waits for the real fun to resume.

It’s only June now, and the long-time haunt addict known affectionately to some of the crew members as “Uncle Jim” is already getting antsy, in anticipation of getting the family back together for another season of thrills, chills and just plain old fashioned hair-raising excitement. It’s what he lives for.

“To be honest with you, I don’t ever see myself doing anything else. As long as this park stays alive, I’m pretty sure I’ll be here every second. This will be our 27th season; we’re almost to the 30 mark. It’s going to be awesome.”